The Worst Writers Conference I Ever Attended … and the Best
By Lauren Carr
An eon ago (if you don’t know what that is then I’ll tell
you—it was a long time ago), I was invited to attend a writer’s conference by
some idiot whose name I can’t remember.
At the time, I was an editor with the federal government, a
weekly columnist with a daily newspaper, and working on my first mystery in my
spare time—usually while riding the commuter train to and from Washington DC.
So, a fellow commuter, when she found out I was working on a
book, suggested that I go to a writers’ conference in Kentucky, claiming it was
the only way I could make that transition from dreaming of being a mystery
writer to actually being one. So I took a week’s vacation time to travel to
Kentucky to have a miserable time.
The misery stemmed from the conference’s headline author—who
wrote award-winning mysteries. I had read a couple before going and didn’t like
them—but her literary agent, publisher, and the people who gave her these
awards said they were true works of literary art. Since they were all in New
York and she was getting published—they had to know something I didn’t.
So, I paid out a bunch of money to have this award winning
author read the first three chapters of my book in order for her to determine
my chances of ever making my dream come true.
Note, this was the first time in my whole life that I had
dared to allow anyone other than a relative who was obligated to love
everything I do read my mystery writing. Up until then, I had only written news
articles and humor pieces. Murder mysteries are a whole different animal.
She was an award winning murder mystery writer—so whatever
she said had to be the absolute truth—Right?
Forget that she was so arrogant that within twenty-four hours
she had managed to alienate virtually every writer attending this conference.
Nothing makes a week long writers conference seem longer than being stuck with
someone who thinks she holds everyone’s writing dreams in her plump little claws.
Over the course of the week, one writer after another would join the throngs of
depressed upon her declaration that they had no talent—therefore, they should
hang up their dreams.
Of course, she absolutely ripped my book apart! After
fifteen minutes of being insulted from the characters to the plot to the
writing style, I asked what she thought of my typing and formatting. Based on
how hard she slammed the door on the way out of the little room where she was
verbally assaulting my ego, I assume she didn’t.
It was a year before I attempted to write yet another murder
mystery.
Fast forward ten years—at least—maybe more, maybe less.
After publishing my first two books, A Small Case of Murder and A Reunion to Die For, both of which received rave reviews and decent sales, a
friend of mine convinced me to go to yet another writers conference—at which
point my eyes glazed over.
While swirling from flashbacks of Kentucky, I stammered out
an excuse. “I don’t do conferences.”
After much prodding from my husband, I finally agreed to travel
south to yet another conference—at least this one was only a weekend, so it couldn’t
rob me of a whole week of my life that I could never get back.
The friend was traveling with his wife, so I had to book a
hotel room by myself. It took only a few hours at the conference for me to see
that it was everything I expected it to be. Most of the attendees were college
students. I was at least ten years older and, being married with children,
wasn’t looking to hook-up or get drunk.
The featured authors, all academic types, wrote for genres
that were more niched than mine. My writing was more main streamed. Also, I was
diving head first into the growing Internet and social media. None of the
authors headlining the conference seemed to be much beyond knowing where the ‘delete’
key was located on their keyboard.
When I returned to my room that night I called my husband
and groaned, “I’m stuck here for another three days!” Note to self: Always drive yourself when you go to a conference that
you think will be a bust!
Then it hit me. Just because I couldn’t go home, didn’t mean
I had to attend the conference. The next morning, I told my friend that I was
staying in my room and working on my next book.
Three days later, when I emerged from my hotel room, I had finished
over the first one hundred and twenty pages of It’s Murder, My Son, the first installment of the Mac Faraday Mystery series, which went on to make it to number one on Amazon in mysteries
in 2011.
Locked in that hotel room, with no distractions, I had three
days of completely focused writing time. Yep, that was the best conference I
ever attended.
This is not to say that I don’t like conferences. I have
been to some where I have left totally motivated and inspired.
Now, years later, I can safely say this is what I learned
from those two awful conferences:
- Don’t give others the power to determine
your worth as an artist. Just because they may have big contracts or awards or
contacts doesn’t mean they know what readers want or may be looking for. When I
think of all the dreams that creature of a feature author dashed that
week—maybe some who never did return to writing, my heart breaks.
- Focused writing time is the best! Ever since
that weekend I have devoted focused writing time to each one of my books. Up
until that time, due to family obligations and life, I was only able to write
an hour or so at a time. Now, I schedule time, hours, days, whole weekends with
nothing on my plate but writing, which results in much tighter plotlines and
writing style.
Since that “awful” conference, I have shared my discovery
with other writers and authors. One author who lives five hours away and I will
regularly schedule weekends to meet at a bed and breakfast for focused writing
time.
During breaks, we brainstorm writing ideas for problems we
are having in our
respective plots. Since we both have families and spouses who
are not in the business, we discovered that having a buddy who understands the
various aspects of writing to use as a sounding board is invaluable.
By the end of these weekends, we go our separate ways
completely invigorated and anxious to put our fresh ideas to work.
That is why I jumped at the opportunity when Lakewood
Resorts, located on the shores of Deep Creek Lake in western Maryland
approached me to suggest using their facility for a week-long writers retreat! Lauren
Carr's Advance toward Authorship Writers' Retreat is scheduled for Friday,
November 13 through Friday, November 20. Weekend packages are available, as
well!
Not only will writers who attend this writers’ retreat have
quiet and beautiful scenery in which to write, but they will be surrounded by
other writers in order to share ideas and have someone who has been there
available to encourage them and lead the way.
A variety of packages are available. Writers can sign up for
a single unit at Lakewood Resort to write in complete solitude or share a unit
with their spouse or writing buddies. Each lakeshore unit at the luxurious
Lakewood Resorts can accommodate four or more writers—making this an ideal
retreat for writers groups.
Offerings include choice of a variety packages. Many offer
focused writing time, weekend workshops, private consultations with me (Lauren
Carr), writers’ gatherings, and meal options.
Retreat prices vary with level of participation. Lodging costs are per unit, and units can be
shared with family or other writers. In
addition to lodging, all participants pay the per person rate for the chosen retreat
package.
The dates for the Lauren Carr’s Advanced toward Authorship
Writer’s Retreat
will be Friday, November 13-20, 2015. Weekend packages (Friday
through Sunday) will be available. It will be held at Lakewood Resort, McHenry,
Maryland—Deep Creek Lake, the setting for Lauren Carr's Mac Faraday Mysteries!
Visit Lakewood Resort’s website at http://www.lakewoodresortsmd.com/ for more
information.
Space at Lauren Carr’s Advance toward Authorship Writers
Retreat is limited. Writers are encouraged to visit Lauren Carr’s website at
www.mysterylady.net or email her at acornbookservices@gmail.com for further
details.
